Values vs Goals-based Life
Escape constant Frustrations and Stresses: To a more fulfilled and Meaningful life.
My first assumption is that you are reading this article because you want to understand what creates fulfillment and meaning in life. What if I told you that constant pursuit of life goals as the primary motivation, not only causes stress but also hinders you from experiencing fullness of life.
We all face various hurdles in pursuing goals ranging from moderate to intense. Sometimes, we may be lucky enough to achieve them all within our lifetime, and other times, we do not. The truth of the matter is, whether you achieve them or not, life has to continue.
Disclaimer: I am not in any way attempting to dissuade you from pursuing your life goals.Whether short, medium, or long-term. I personally have goals in life ranging from short, medium to long-term.
Here is the catch: A values-based life provides the why –the deep, personal reason for living–while a goals-based life provides the how–the concrete steps to turn your purpose into reality. You should let your values dictate the goals you set, ensuring that your pursuits are not just successful but also deeply meaningful. In fact, goals offer some sense of focus and direction in life.
Goal: “ To buy a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.”
(You can always substitute these goals with the ones you like)
It is also worth noting that, based on the kind of goal you set, you may have to overcome various forms of limitations(hinderances). Some hinderances/hurdles can be viewed as personal, environmental, financial, and social, to name but a few.
- While we are working towards our goals, we scorn and curse due to the arduous process of waiting. A myriad of stress, frustrations, and even hopelessness tends to pervade our minds. A blanket of negative emotions, sensations, and thoughts continues to rage. Constant worries emanating from our doubt about whether we will be able to achieve our goals or not have adverse effects on our health.
Living in fear about the future outcome could potentially lead to a downward spiral of our habits, hence counterproductive.
“…Hey, if you are with me up to this point, stick a little bit longer. We are almost there!”
Resilience: Aligning goals with your values.
Polite reminder:
You only have control of now. The past and future exist only in your mind. No matter how badly you are longing/waiting/obsessing for i.e., a pair of pants, a graduation ceremony, a wedding party, a vacation… They all exist in a distant future, in our mental environment, and are yet to materialize.
To the contrary, you could live and practice values that align with your unique personality right here and now. One of the main benefits of differentiating between values and goals is resilience. If we focus on living in alignment with our values – regardless of external outcomes – we can maintain a sense of purpose even in adversity.
However, if we attach our sense of fulfillment solely to achieving specific goals, we may feel lost or disappointed when circumstances prevent us from reaching them.
- Values are inherent beliefs that we carry within us, that guide our actions and direction where our life gravitates towards. Values could also be understood as a compass direction that guides our steps towards the desired destination(goals)
Example of Values: Being appreciative, caring, loving, hardworking, compassionate, friendly, curious, empathetic, kind, patient…
In fact, values have no time or geographical hindrances. You can practice them anytime, anywhere, and with anyone.
Controlling the Controllables: path to a fulfilled and meaningful life
To truly lead a fulfilled and meaningful life, it’s imperative to master what it means to be human. This can only come by appreciating that we have limited control of both our mental and external environment. Even when we are facing a bleak future and all odds indicate that we may not achieve our goals, we can still choose our attitude and how we want to view the situation.
There is a rich body of literature supporting that no matter what is happening in our environment, the right to choose our attitude is reserved within us. This was first championed by German Logotherapist and a holocaust survivor, Dr.Victor Frankl, where he is quoted as remarking,” The Last of the human’s freedoms is the ability to choose his/her attitude in any set of circumstances.”
To make it even better, a values-driven life revolves around learning and focusing our efforts on controlling the controllables. It’s about being in the moment, appreciating and embracing life experiences as they unfold.
Making the best of the present moment while working towards achieving your desired goals. When we cherish every moment while working towards our goals, the pursuit becomes more fulfilling and meaningful.
E.g., You have a goal of paying a visit to your uncle residing in the countryside. You have already boarded a family van, en route to the countryside. In the midst of this journey, you could still practice and enjoy the fulfillment that comes when you execute your values. Whether being curious about the traveling experience, sharing fond memories with your siblings, sharing a meal, etc
Unlike if you chose to solely focus attention on reaching your destination. Perhaps, the entire journey would be boring, frustrating, and infuriating while wondering why it is taking too long! The downside of having all our attention on goals is that, while we are trying to overcome hinderances, we may feel more frustrated and generally unhappy with life.
The good from both Worlds: lead a more fulfilled life
The most fulfilling life does not choose between a compass and a map; it uses both. Your values should inform your goals. If you value personal growth, you might set a goal to learn a new skill. If you value community, you could aim to organize a local event.
When your goals directly reflect your values, they become more meaningful and more resilient. You are less likely to lose motivation because you are not just chasing an achievement; you are living out your purpose.
In this synergy, your values serve as the why behind your actions, while your goals provide the how. Together, they create a powerful, purposeful life where what you do and who you are are in perfect harmony